Work

I have been back at work for two days now. It has gone pretty good. I've seen a few of my consumers (or clients) and none have brought up Maxton. I brought it up with one of them because it felt like the big "elephant" in the room, but this is someone I have worked with for over 4 years now.. so it makes sense to talk to her. She didn't push me for information and now she knows about CDH! I had a really rough night last night and simply could not fall asleep. I am hoping for a better night tonight, otherwise I may need to seek out some medicine to help me sleep. I think the reality of everything is finally starting to set in. Being a psych major and working in that type of position for 4 years, I am now going to psychoanalyze myself. :-) I think that I was busy "planning" for Max since last July. In October, we found he was sick, but I still planned for his birth, his nursey, his care,etc. Then I had to plan his funeral, then the balloon release... and now... now, I am out of planning for him. I do intend on doing some fundraisers, but there is no more planning. No more searching the internet for baby furniture (we never bought any), no more obsessively trying to figure out which CDH spectrum he would be on, no more anticipation for his arrival and care. Sometimes I forget that it is "over". I hold my belly and wait for him to kick, but he isn't there and then I remember that he is gone. (the epidural was so good, i forgot i gave birth, hehe). I am doing okay, just typing what goes through my mind 1500 times a day.

Please continue to pray for Kaden, Ruby, Jon, and Jaime.. all recently born and fighting CDH.

Please pray for sweet little Sofie, who has reherniated for the 3rd time. She is one and super cute!! Max was due on Sofie's first birthday.

Also, please pray for Ireland and James' family as they recently found out their child will have the CDH fight as well. There are also several other babies due soon- Avery, Kamryn... sorry if I missed anyone!!! Thanks for checkin in.