Our son Maxton was diagnosed with left-sided congenital diaphragmatic hernia (CDH) at his 19 week ultrasound. Maxton was born on 3/3/09 at Vanderbilt University. He fought hard for 18 days but earned his wings on 3/21/09. Maxton was an inspiration to many during his brief time on earth and has forever changed our lives. If your child is diagnosed with CDH, please feel free to contact us. Maxton may no longer live here on earth, but he will live forever in our hearts...

To start at the beginning of our story click here and scroll all the way to the bottom.

Friday, April 17, 2009


I have been back at work for two days now. It has gone pretty good. I've seen a few of my consumers (or clients) and none have brought up Maxton. I brought it up with one of them because it felt like the big "elephant" in the room, but this is someone I have worked with for over 4 years now.. so it makes sense to talk to her. She didn't push me for information and now she knows about CDH! I had a really rough night last night and simply could not fall asleep. I am hoping for a better night tonight, otherwise I may need to seek out some medicine to help me sleep. I think the reality of everything is finally starting to set in. Being a psych major and working in that type of position for 4 years, I am now going to psychoanalyze myself. :-) I think that I was busy "planning" for Max since last July. In October, we found he was sick, but I still planned for his birth, his nursey, his care,etc. Then I had to plan his funeral, then the balloon release... and now... now, I am out of planning for him. I do intend on doing some fundraisers, but there is no more planning. No more searching the internet for baby furniture (we never bought any), no more obsessively trying to figure out which CDH spectrum he would be on, no more anticipation for his arrival and care. Sometimes I forget that it is "over". I hold my belly and wait for him to kick, but he isn't there and then I remember that he is gone. (the epidural was so good, i forgot i gave birth, hehe). I am doing okay, just typing what goes through my mind 1500 times a day.

Please continue to pray for Kaden, Ruby, Jon, and Jaime.. all recently born and fighting CDH.

Please pray for sweet little Sofie, who has reherniated for the 3rd time. She is one and super cute!! Max was due on Sofie's first birthday.

Also, please pray for Ireland and James' family as they recently found out their child will have the CDH fight as well. There are also several other babies due soon- Avery, Kamryn... sorry if I missed anyone!!! Thanks for checkin in.


Dotty said...

hey hun, i still read your blogs and i feel your heartache. im proud of how you are spreading awareness and i know Maxton is so very proud of you too. if i may, id like to offer a suggestion for your sleep. my older two boys, 7yrs and 4 yrs both have had sleep issues for years, they are on a few different medications but the one thats the safest, easist to get, nonhabit forming, etc. is melatonin (you can buy it in the herb and vitamin section at walmart) its a natural chemical type thing that is released in your brain when it turns night time, you can buy this in a huge selection of doses, for the boys we started out with 1mg, they are now both at 6mg. it works rather fast and you get a deep sleep. maybe it can help you too.

Ashworth Family said...

Ashley, I just want you to know you continue to be an amazing mother to Maxton. You are so strong it blows me away.

Jaime's World said...

Hi Ashley,
I was thinking about you yesterday, as it was your first day back at work. I'm sorry it was a little awkward for you. I must tell you that I admire your strength. You are such a wonderful person! I know that Maxton is looking down upon his mommy can he not?
Take it easy, and I agree with Dotty, try the Melatonin and maybe even a sound machine at night to help you relax!
Wishing you all the best...

P.S. Thank you for keeping Jaime in your prayers, that means so much to us!

Stephanie said...

I'm so sorry to hear that going back to work was so hard emotionally. But, I'm glad to hear that they are letting you bring it up, b/c that would only make it worse for you. I wish I could do something to make this easier on you. I can't even imagine what you're going through. Your posts are so moving, and we are touched deeply every time we read them. Praying that you are able to sleep comfortably soon, as well as continue to find understanding through this whirlwind you've been put through.


Stacy D said...


Thanks so much for your post on my blog... mostly, because it allowed me to come here and "meet" your family, especially your sweet little Maxton.

You and David will continue to be in my prayers during this most difficult time...

~ Stacy

Elizabeth said...

It is also adjusting to this new normal too - it is hard. I'm glad that you are doing as well as can be expected. I so recall the same feelings - and promise Maxton is very proud of his family and loves you all so much.

With thoughts and prayers,