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Our son Maxton was diagnosed with left-sided congenital diaphragmatic hernia (CDH) at his 19 week ultrasound. Maxton was born on 3/3/09 at Vanderbilt University. He fought hard for 18 days but earned his wings on 3/21/09. Maxton was an inspiration to many during his brief time on earth and has forever changed our lives. If your child is diagnosed with CDH, please feel free to contact us. Maxton may no longer live here on earth, but he will live forever in our hearts...

To start at the beginning of our story click here and scroll all the way to the bottom.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Unbelieveable

Today I had my 6 week checkup with my OB doctor. In July when I found out I was pregnant I didn't have an OB here, so I started to go to one associated with Baptist hospital. When Max was diagnosed with CDH in Oct I had to switch to a Vanderbilt doctor. Many of you who have followed the blog all along know my distaste with Vanderbilt. In fact, I was telling Marion yesterday that I was suprised my doctor had not called to make sure I was doing okay. I went in the day after Max's death to talk to them about how to stop my breastmilk, but only met with a RN. Anyways, today was rough because there were pregnant women everywhere. Most of the ones who weren't pregnant had small babies with, who I assumed were also there for their 6 week check up. :-( It was sad because I wanted my 6 week old with me too! Anyways, then I get to go back and see the doctor and the doctor has the audacity to come in and say "Good to see you, how is the baby doing?"... I just looked at stared at him and said.. well, he passed away. Then he asked what happened. I am thinking to myself" does he even remember that the baby has CDH? or should I start with that". I just started with what happened the last day, but I CANNOT believe that he did not look at my chart and notice. HE tried to pretend like it was not on my chart, but I know it was. My old OB, who I only saw 4 times sent me a sympathy card! If she found out and she is not even associated with Vanderbilt, then I feel like this guy should have known. I mean, he is in a large practice, so I didn't see everytime and he didn't deliver me, but it is still unexcusable! At the end of the appt, which went well by the way, the doctor said that if I planned to go back to the previous OB that was okay... I was thinking, why because if your doctor was too negligent to notice that your baby had died yo uwould switch doctors too. Yes, Dr. B, I will be going back to my OLD ob. (Vanderbilt hospital care- great; clinic care- this is typical).

On a much happier, not crazy, note- I met with Marion (Addison's mom) yesterday in Chattanooga. I felt like I had known her forever. It was very nice to talk to someone that is where I am. Addison passed about a week before Max, so we are kinda in the same place with our grief, I think. It was very nice and I hope to see her again soon. She also sent me this really nice cross ornament in the mail! Thanks Marion!!!! :-)

I am planning to go back to work on Thursday, so I will be sure to let everyone know how that goes. Please keep Ava Daher's family (Lisa and Rich) in your prayers as their daughter was born sleeping yesterday. I am so very sad for them.. also please keep Kaden and his family in your prayers. He seems to be holding his own after coming off of ECMO! Go Kaden.

13 comments:

Ashworth Family said...

Reading your post, I was pissed for you! How incredibly insensitive. I am so sorry. I guess some people forget that medicine is about people.

Marion said...

Ashley,

I am so sorry that your doctor was so insensative. I am glad that you will be going back to the other doctor. I cannot wait to see you again.

Owain's mommy said...

What a jerk! I am so sorry that you had to go through that on top of everything else.

Always in my prayers!
Amber

FaithCDH said...

I remember how hard it was to go into the doctors office. Even going to my family practice doctor was hard when their were babies in there. Definately go to a doctor who knows how to treat people.

It's so great that you and Marion were able to meet up. It's nice to have someone close to you who has been through the journey. I talk often with another CDH mom, our babies were due a day apart...then became angels a day apart.

Thoughts and prayers are with you as you head back to work.

Take care,
Amy Miles

Jaime's World said...

Ok Ash,
All Tom and I could say about your posting is "what a jerk." We can not believe this. Some drs. are so arrogant.
Our UH Cleveland MFM dr. has been in touch with us and our drs. down here, I couldn't imagine them being so careless like that. I am so sorry that happened to you!
On a happy note, I'm glad you got to meet Addison's mom, we've met a few WONDERFUL CDH mom's here,too. It's nice having people in your life who know what you're going through.

I hope you have a nice, easy day at work on Thursday!

Hugs,
Sheryl

Alicia said...

I'm so sorry you had to go through that with the doctor. I just can't believe the lack of attention to your chart. I wouldn't go back there either. When my daughter Carla went to her appointment she experienced the same thing with the other pregnant ladies and newborns around. It was hard for her as well. Some of the nurses asked her why didn't she bring the baby with her. You can imagine... she couldn't believe they didn't know. Then Carla told them her story. They immediately turned things around and called other staff to give Carla support. That made a big difference. I hope you are feeling a little bit better after that. Sometimes those incidents help you build some strength (not that we want them to happen often, but they help). I continue to check on your blog every now and then. Some families are very special to me as we went through the same around the same time. Your family is one of them.

God bless,
Angel Joseph's "grammy"

Stephanie said...

Oh Ashley, I'm so sorry. I would have gone off on him. Every time we meet with my OB, I see CDH highlighted in bright yellow right on the front page. How insensitive. I'm just so sorry you had to endure that pain. JERK!

I'm so glad that you and Marion got to meet. What a blessing. I'll be praying for you when you go back to work.

Stephanie
Brooke and *Kamryn's Mommy

Kathryn said...

If Team 335 needs to schedule an appt with your so called doctor- just Momma Bear Billie an me know and we will "schedule it"

Kathryn said...

Ok, let me try again- If you want team 335 to schedule an appt with your so called doctor just let Mama Bear Billie or me know. Traci said,"I will beat him in the head until the white meat shows!" I know it will be hard to come back to work but we can't wait to see you.

Elizabeth said...

I admire your composure. I would have - well lets not go there and I would have used the hormones as the excuse ;-)...

I received letters from all the doctors that took care of us. And this is what some hospitals are discovering - it isn't the technology - it is the people they have that go over and above. That is what we remember.

Hugs and prayers,
Elizabeth

Shannon said...

Wow. What a lousy jerk of a doctor. Hugs to you!

Tessa Gough said...

Ashley, I was so anger when I read the blog yesterday and then I cried. I am so sorry that happened to you. I don't know what you are going through but I think and pray for you daily. You are an inspiration to with the strenght, courage and faith that you have and show. Love and Prayers from your friend,
Tessa Gough

Jenni Halley said...

How completely insensitive and unprofessional. I feel so bad that you have to deal with idiots on top of an already heartwrenching situation. Many blessings and kudos for keeping your cool.