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Our son Maxton was diagnosed with left-sided congenital diaphragmatic hernia (CDH) at his 19 week ultrasound. Maxton was born on 3/3/09 at Vanderbilt University. He fought hard for 18 days but earned his wings on 3/21/09. Maxton was an inspiration to many during his brief time on earth and has forever changed our lives. If your child is diagnosed with CDH, please feel free to contact us. Maxton may no longer live here on earth, but he will live forever in our hearts...

To start at the beginning of our story click here and scroll all the way to the bottom.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

My New OB

So today I met with my new primary OB. I am not sure what the point of seeing two OBs is, but I will go with it. I have been told the high risk OB is really for the baby because I am not high risk, thus I need to continue routine care with the regular OB. My issue with this is that I will be paying someone big bucks to measure my belly with a tape measure and listen to a heartbeat that will likely be looked at on an ultrasound the next week. Nevertheless, I did like my new doctor. Despite being there for 2 hours, he was very nice and funny. I like humor and often need it, especially now. The only "bad thing" he had for me was that my blood pressure is starting to creep up. He thinks I should increase my dose of bp meds, which I will begin doing tonight. As far as appointment go, my next round will be on the 17th when I meet with high risk OB, regular OB, and also get a fetal echo. So.. that will be a BUSY day, but at least it is all on one day.

On another note I am having a few "bad days" lately. My mother says I am being negative but I feel like I am trying to be prepared. I have decided to read as much as I can about CDH, and yes, that includes the babies that don't make it. Obviously, I don't want that to be the case, but I do feel like I cannot think about it ever. My dad is alot like me and has also been reading other mother's blogs. I think he understands what a journey CDH can be. We were talking about it the other night- how for alot of babies the initial hospital stay is only the beginning. I don't really think the rest of my family, even my husband, completely understands this. And for now, that is okay.

I am really excited about moving to the new office at work. Since I am almost in my 7th month, people can really tell I am pregnant. It has been hard working in a big office because only about 10-15 people really know that there is a complication. The rest have no clue. It seems like once a day I have this conversation.
Person A: When are you due?
Me: March 10th
Person A: Aww, are you having a boy or a girl?
Me: A boy
Person A: Is that what you were hoping for?
Me: We didn't really care.
Person A: Yeah, as long as the baby is healthy that is all that matters.
Me: Umm.. yeah.

I HATE THAT CONVERSATION!!! What is even worse is that I am sure I have said those words as well. I promise to NEVER say "as long as the baby is healthy" again. You know, you never know what other people are going through and it hurts every time someone says that. I start to get jealous of the other women who are having healthy babies. I know that we will be able to give Maxton something that other mothers can't give him- our love, but I just wish that I knew what was going to happen. It's hard not knowing. I want to be excited about being pregnant, and most days I am... but some days I am so scared. I do feel like I am doing a good job remaining positive. I think I just needed to vent a little today. :-) Anyways, as always, we want to thank everyone for reading and thinking/praying for us. It really does mean alot!!

10 comments:

Kenny and Jennifer Miller said...

I SO know how you feel about talking about your pregnancy with people that are clueless and/or take a healthy baby for granted. It's one of the hardest things to deal with during your pregnancy. Hang in there and know that God has a plan for you! And remember, you're not alone!

Jen
Mommy to Sofie (also born March 10th!)

Brian and Cassi Reed said...

I totally agree with you. I felt like someone stole those last 20 weeks of my pregnancy. As a nurse, patients would start those same conversations, and then towards the end I just smiled and nodded, not saying anything.

I too remember reading the Angel stories, and remember when My Elli passed away, seeing her name under the "Angel" column of blogs instead of the "survior" one devistated me. I still have issues with it. Feel free to stop by my blog or e-mail me if you ever need anything or have any questions. Pretty sure been there...done that.

Cassi Reed
Mom to Angel Elli LCDH/ECMO
babygirlreed2be.blogspot.com

PineapplePrincessMama said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
PineapplePrincessMama said...

I came across your blog via one of the other CDH babies. I just wanted to let you know we'll be thinking about you in these last couple of months.

My daughter was born with a LCDH, was on ECMO for 16 days, and had 2 surgeries on ECMO. She was out of the hospital on day 39 and has been as healthy as can be since.

Please feel free to visit our website: www.caringbridge.org/visit/makena

Libby
Mama to Makena LCDH 9/30/06

Elizabeth said...

I so recall that - and the two OBs - both different hospitals too. One was doing all the ultrasounds but in these cases - two doctors is a good thing.

Read the stories to be prepared - there are great things that you can remember to have in the back of your mind - journaling is great through these babies too. Just don't give up hope.

Peace,
Elizabeth

Liz and Shane Nelson said...

I remember having bad days, its ok to feel the way sometimes try to focus on your pregnancy and what a wonderful time it is. Give yourself lots of belly rubs and tell Maxton to fight and kick CDH booty! I gave that pep talk to Nayeli everyday.
We are praying for you and Maxton.

Jaime Smith said...

I know exactly how you are feeling, I do the same thing. I am due on 1/16 with Ryann and find myself surfing the internet a lot throughout the day reading about all of the CDH babies. I try to remain as positive as I can, but some days are hard especially when you read about the angels. I just tell her everyday that she shall live and to remain the fighter I know she is. Feel free to follow my blog at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/ryannsmith

Remain strong for little Maxton, there are a lot of good outcomes too and I am hoping to prove that one for you.

Jaime Smith

Alex & Ingrid Houchin said...

I know exactly how you are feeling. It was the same for me in the beginning. I didn't feel that I could tell people that Alina had such a severe condition and I was doing all the "normal" pregnancy chit-chat, which seemed so fake. But then I started talking about CDH and made people aware that we were having a tough time. And you know what, it was incredible the amount of support we received. Try to stay positive and enjoy your pregnancy. Just keep the good thoughts going and believe in Maxton. It's incredible how strong willed these little ones are.
We are keeping you in our prayers!
Hugs,

Ingrid, Alex & Alina

Amy AKA "Baba" said...

I too can completely relate to how you are feeling. I read any and all CDH related blogs, research, anything I could find. I would try to get my husband to read the blogs but he only wanted to hear the good information. I felt like I was the only one going into the CDH journey really knowing what we could possibly be facing. I'm just like you...I want to know the reality and all the possibilities. We have been incredibly blessed with our journey and I hope and pray yours will be the same.

Amy
Livianasjourney.blogspot.com

Dawn at CHERUBS said...

Thinking of you guys. If you have any questions, just need to talk, vent or whatever... we're all here for you. I just posted a dozen more stories to the site and there is always someone 24/7 hanging out to talk to and of course you can call - anytime!

Dawn
mommy to Shane (1/28/93-9/11/99) CDH, multiple birth defects and complications

CHERUBS - Congenial Diaphragmatic Hernia Research Awareness and Support - http://www.cdhsupport.org
CDH Forums - http://www.cdhsupport.org/members
CDH Research - http://www.cdhresearch.org