Reflections of an almost new Mommy :-)

So today I have been a bit of a basket case. I am very excited about finally meeting Maxton, but everytime he kicks I wonder if it will be the last one I feel. He hasn't been too active this last week. Earlier he had the hiccups and I was wondering if it would be the last time I felt them. Despite everything I have enjoyed being pregnant.

At my first appointment in July (7 weeks gestation) , I was told that my placenta had a bruise on it. The doctor was not too worried about but decided to do a follow up ultrasound in 4 weeks. At the follow up ultrasound at the end of August, I was told that the bruise had healed but that there appeared to be extra fluid around the babies neck. It was a Wed. and they had a follow up appointment with a high risk doctor scheduled for me for Thursday. I knew it must be serious if they had an appointment for me the next day. When I went in they tried to do a nuchal fold test, but Maxton would not show them the part they needed to see. Anyways, we were told that based on the pictures of the babies neck we were likely looking at either a Down's baby or a Turner's girl. The doctor was pretty certain that the baby would be a Turner's syndrome baby. Anyways, I opted to have a CVS based on this. The Fish results came back a normal boy, as did the final results. This was the beginning of Sept. I remember how happy we were. My husband high fived me so hard my hand swelled. We felt so blessed and excited.

Then about 7 weeks later in October I was told that the baby had a possible hole in his diaphragm. I came home and googled everything I could and found CDH. It was a Friday and my follow up was on a Monday. I had read tons of things about CDH and found that when I went to the appointment I knew everything the doctor had said. I knew before they told me that my baby would have CDH. I had a sort of peace about it that I felt God would only have given me if I had to face CDH.

Of course, Maxton has also been potentially diagnosed with coarctation of the aorta. It's been one heck of a ride. I must say since the coarctation appointment, I have mainly gotten good news, which has been good!

I really feel that Maxton will be a fighter. He has made David and I so strong and even though we are scared for him, we cannot wait to have him home with us and teaching us more about ourselves.

CDH has already changed my lives. I read other blogs and I cry with strangers who really aren't strangers at all. My family has grown by at least 50 people with the addition of just one child. I feel blessed to know this people and although I wish that I didn't have to deal with CDH and that I could bring my baby home on Thursday, I am so grateful to the mothers who have come before me and to those who are currently expecting. I always felt like I wanted to work with children with cancer.. that has been my dream job. My new dream job is to work with CDH families and babies and make lives better for the CDH community. Maxton isn't here yet, but I know my purpose in this.

Please continue to pray for us. Pray for Sky and Carla who lost their beautiful son, Joseph this past week. Pray for Charlie, Davis, Addison, Oakley and other CDH babies fighting to live as we speak. I love each of this families and though I may never meet them personally they have all touched my lives in ways I cannot explain. Tomorrow by this time, little Maxton should be here. We hope to update tomorrow night so be looking. :-)