Our son Maxton was diagnosed with left-sided congenital diaphragmatic hernia (CDH) at his 19 week ultrasound. Maxton was born on 3/3/09 at Vanderbilt University. He fought hard for 18 days but earned his wings on 3/21/09. Maxton was an inspiration to many during his brief time on earth and has forever changed our lives. If your child is diagnosed with CDH, please feel free to contact us. Maxton may no longer live here on earth, but he will live forever in our hearts...

To start at the beginning of our story click here and scroll all the way to the bottom.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Hanging in there

This weekend was nice. I went to KY to a wedding. The ceremony was beautiful! I drove up by myself because David had to work. I went by the grave and talked to Maxton for a bit. This was my first chance to go by myself. There was cute teddy bear made from flowers that my grandma had brought for memorial day. It was very cute. I put his blue butterfly stake that I bought down also. I gotta say that it will be nice if we can get back to KY someday so I can be near him and go see the grave whenever I want.

I held my first little baby since Max this weekend. My friend RheaAnn has a 6 weeks old, Whitley, that I held for about an hour or so at the wedding. I thought I wouldn't be able to hold her when someone asked me to so they could get food, but I did just fine. In fact, it felt good. ( I was worried I might completely lose it!). I think it helped that little Whitley is a girl. But, I am proud of myself and thankful that God was able to help me get through that. Of course, right before that we were sitting behind a baby boy who was born on March 11th ( I hear his grandma talking about it). We ended up moving seats and I gotta say I was glad to.

I am still trying to adjust to my new normal. I miss Max everyday. Somedays I cry when I think about him and all the things I am missing, and somedays I smile because of all the things he gave me/taught me.

Please pray for little James' family as he is set to arrive tomorrow I believe. They are in England and his parents are awesome! I know James can fight CDH!

Please also pray for Stephanie as she goes to the hospital this week in preparation for birth of the twins, Kamryn (CDH) and Brooke. Stephanie is hoping they wait a few weeks before coming but will be at the hospital just in case.

Thanks for checkin in on us. We are doing our best with what we have been given.


Stephanie said...

Ashley - I'm so glad you were able to go visit Max. I know it must have been a very moving moment going by yourself. He is loved, wherever he is. I'm proud of you for holding the baby girl. I can only imagine how hard it was for you. You are so strong.

I have your bracelets, and will have Shawn put them in the mail to you this week. Time got away from me over the weekend, and we're leaving in the morning to go to the hospital. Kamryn and Maxton's names are side by side on my wrist though, and I know he will help her fight this battle when she gets here in 9 days. Can you email me your address again?

Much love to you! I truly admire your strength and will!

With love,

The Creekbaums said...

Oh, Ashley.. you are so much more brave than I was/am for holding the baby. However, the first time I held a baby (5 mos. after Grayton passed away) it was kind of forced as it your situation. Her mom has walked outside to check on her other child and the baby started crying. While I didn't think I'd be able to do it without breaking down, I picked her up and it felt good, too.

You are truly an inspirational CDH mom in every way!!!!


Chanda D Brady said...

Ashley, you are so incredible. I am constantly amazed at the support you give to all of us and I sure hope you feel our support. ...I love that you were able to visit your baby. And I am glad you felt at peace holding that little baby girl. That has to be very healing I'd imagine. I can also understand you wanting to walk away from the other situation. You are a trooper whatever you are doing. ....I pray more and more each day and you are a big part of those. Chanda