2 months!

It's so hard to believe that my little man would be two months old today! I miss him so much. I've grown up so much over the past 2 months. I wonder what Maxton would look like today. What color would his eyes be? How much hair would he have? Would he find mommy and daddy as funny as we think he would? Would he have cute little baby giggle? I am sure he would. I am sure that he is up in heaven entertaining everyone with his cute little antics and spitfire personality. It makes me want to have a "day pass" to heaven just to watch him and all his new friends play. 2 months old.... it really feels like yesterday that I was in labor with him. I was so excited to meet him, yet terrified that I would be here two months later with only memories. I never knew I could love this much. Being a mom is different then I thought. As mother's day approaches it seems surreal... I am a mother, yet never truly got to experience motherhood. I changed his diaper a couple of times... got to see him open his eyes only twice...really my only act of true motherhood was letting him go. I made the hardest choice any mother truly has to make. Actually I wasn't really given much of a choice, anyone could have seen it was time. I just miss him. Today is a bittersweet day. I am not sad, despite the general tone of this post. I am reflective. I am celebrating my son, my two month old son! No matter where he lives, he will always be mine. My baby, my sweet little man. Happy 2 month old birthday sweetie! Mommy loves you and misses you...