I'm Spending Christmas with Jesus this Year

I'm Spending Christmas with Jesus this Year"

I see the countless Christmas trees
around the world below
with tiny lights like heaven stars
reflecting on the snow

The sight is so spectacular
Please wipe away that that tear
For I'm spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year

I hear the many Christmas songs
That people hold so dear
O', the sounds of music can't compare
with the Christmas choir up here.

For I have no words to tell you
of the joy their voices bring
for it's beyond description
to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me,
I see the pain inside your heart.
but, through our memories so dear..
We're never far apart.

I can't tell you of the splendor
or the peace here in this place
Can you just imagine Christmas
with Our Savior.......face-to-face.

I'll ask him to light your spirit
As I tell him of your Love.
Then I'll pray for 'One another'
As you lift your eyes above.

So please let your heart be joyful
and let your spirit sing
for I'm spending Christmas in heaven
and I'm walking with the king.

Update

Today it has been 9 months since saying goodbye. Lately, I find myself missing him more. I think this is in part due to the holidays. I LOVE Christmas. I am a Christmas person. I cannot wait to decorate and shop and just simply love being with family. (that doesn't sound very "true meaning", but I love that part too!) This year... it's just not right. He is missing. I should have a child to buy for. He should be here in our Christmas picture. He should be wearing the cheesy cute snowman outfit I bought for him last year when it was on clearance... He should be enjoying his first Christmas. 9 months is the perfect age! Still a baby, but old enough to enjoy it... It's simply not fair! Instead of buying gifts for my baby, I bought things to take to his grave. I am angry and bitter. I feel stupid to have thought that he would be here... I knew he was sick, yet I bought all these things for him last year... and now they sit in our house. A reminder of lost dreams.

I am also upset that I have not been able to successfully conceive again. At this point, it seems like getting pregnant is going to take some time... my horomones are still not normal and are not conducive to a pregnancy. I am going to the doctor to discuss this, but am not sure what to do. I've been taking some natural supplements, so we will see how that works this month,... but to be honest, I am not expecting anything. I keep telling myself that if I am not pregnant by Max's first birthday, I will likely be buying for David only next Christmas too.... my heart is broken and I simply don't know how to fix it...

And the winner's are...

First of all, I didn't realize just how blessed I would be by participating! I wish I could send you all paintings. If anyone decides they really want one, I would be more than happy to make you one for $10. This will cover the cost, plus mailing, and extra will be donated to a CDH organization, The Parker Reese Foundation. Just email me at Ashleynaye@aol.com.

Anyways, the first winner was randomly chosen by random.org. The first winner is Jamie W, comment number 11!

The other two winners are winners that are not so random... they are Maxton's special days.

Candice Beal- comment number 3... because Maxton's birthday is 3/3/09
and
Lost for Words- comment number 18... because Maxton lived for 18 days with me before going to heaven.


Congrats you guys!!! :-) Please email me or leave a comment here so I can get in touch with you.

Much love to all my new friends during this difficult time. I will be visiting your blogs in the coming days and praying for you families. Thank you for stopping by.

25 days of Giveaways! :-)

Tomorrow- Dec. 19th- is my turn to give away my item to those who have lost a baby (or more...). I am going to post my giveaway today and I will announce a winner tomorrow night. For those of you who are new to my blog, welcome. I am so sad that we have met under such heartbreaking circumstances, but I look forward to visiting your blogs and reading about your angels.

I reinvented myself after Maxton, and one of the things I found was that I love to be crafty. This was really something I have always known, but not something I have neccessarily always done. Anyways, after Maxton passed, I began painting...

So, I would love to paint a canvas in memory of your little one. By no means am I a great artist, but i can promise that I will put a piece of my heart into your work. I cannot show you what I will be sending because I like to read through the persons blog and create something especially in honor of their angel, but if you would like to see some samples, please go here

Some of you may already have a painting... if this is the case, I have something special in mind, so please still enter!!! :-)

AND... in honor of Christmas and my sweet son, I would like to give away 3 prizes..... so, there will be three lucky winners.

To enter, please leave me a comment and tell me what makes you think of your angel... I will go first!

turquoise makes me think of Maxton. Turquoise is the color of the CDH awareness ribbon. Maxton was born with CDH- congenital diaphragmatic hernia. I LOVE all things turquoise now... Also, butterflies make me think of Maxton... specifically, turquoise butterflies.

Now it's your turn! :-)