Father's Day

I wrote this poem for David for Father's Day. I had planned to put it in a photo video, but instead made a photo book with it! I gave it to him last night because he is working today and I didn't want him to be too sad.

Dear Dad
Don't be sad
I know you had your hopes for me
To sit in your lap while you watch TV
To play tennis like Rafa
Or wrestle like Chris Benoit
To learn to fight in the UFC
To grow up to be the best I could be
But God had other dreams in store
You needed me here but he needed me more
Don't worry Dad, I feel no pain
And because of me, look at what you've gained
A wife who sees a father's love
And an angel watching from above
It's okay for you to miss me Dad
But please, oh please, don't be sad
I'll be in heaven waiting for you
Until you finish what God sent you to do
And when that day comes I'll smile bright
And be in your arms, where I fit just right.
Until then, Dad, I'm always here
To listen when you need an ear
To watch over you and send you my love
From heaven, up here above.
I love you forever, Dad, that's a fact
From you sweet baby boy, Max.


Coincidentally, today is also 3 months since Maxton has been gone. I cannot believe it... 3 months. I miss my little man more than I can even describe, but I am doing pretty well coping with my feelings. I have been painting and sending paintings to other angel families. It has definately helped me to cope. If you are reading this and would like one or want to refer someone, please click on the picture at the top right. It will take to you that blog. This weekend is especially hard for me- not only is it father's day and Max's 3 month angel day, but Max was also conceived on June 22nd last year. :-( This day last year, I had no idea my life was about to change. We weren't trying to have a baby, but it was the one time I had thought.. "we might get pregnant" and we did. Now, I cannot stop thinking about getting pregnant again. To be honest, I am pretty much obsessed with it. I know that having another baby will not replace Max, but it will give me something to look forward to. I am so ready to be a mommy to a child who gets to live on earth with me. I am ready to watch David be the awesome dad that he is. I know it will happen when it is supposed to, but I can't help but want it to happen now. I know that Max is up there trying to find the perfect little soul to send back down here to us.

Happy Father's Day to all the daddy's out there!!!

Maxton, sweetie- we miss you so much. Not a day goes by where we don't think of you and wish that you could be here sharing your life with us. I know that you are in heaven and I cannot imagine the things you are seeing there. I know that one day we will be together and you can show me all the fun things you have done and we can do them together. Please continue to watch out for us. We love you little angel and miss you so much!!!