Carly, the mother that photographs the beautiful sunset/daytime pictures of babies names in the sand, has a project 'Under the Tree' for grieving mothers. Read more about it here.
Here are June's questions with my answers.
Hair Color: Brown.
Eye color: Hazel/Greenish
Profession: Adult Mental Health Case Manager
Relationship status: Married
My Favorites
Favorite color: It was green.. but I now love turquoise as it makes me think of my Maxton.
Favorite movie: I have way too many... maybe A Walk to Remember
Favorite animal: hmm... butterflies. :-) I have become obsessed with blue butterflies. Although, maybe my favorite is my doggie, Charley Dog!
Favorite store: Target
Favorite childhood memory: spending time with my Maw Maw eating frozen hamburgers with extra salt and tons of ketchup.. :-)
Favorite hobby: singing, painting, crafting, writing...
Favorite song/singer: Right now- One Moment More or Praise You in the storm.
Favorite book/author: this will sound funny since they are young adult books, but I love Lurlene McDaniel books.. I also love Jodi Picoult
Favorite school subject: hmm... choir or psychology
Favorite vacation destination: Id like to go to the beach soon
Favorite food: Cheeseburgers or mexican food
Favorite restaurant: Maggiano's... they have the best pasta.
This or That
Coke or pepsi : I like Coke Products.. I have a nice collection of coca-cola things.
Beer or wine: neither... i like margaritas though.
Coffee or tea: tea
Apple Juice or O.J.: Apple Juice..
Summer or Winter: um... Fall? :-)
Cats or dogs: Dogs
Salty or sweet: Sweet! or a nice combination of both..
Plane or boat: hm... boat
Morning or night: night
Money or love: Love.. all you need is love.
Breakfast or dinner: I like having breakfast for dinner!
Forgiveness or revenge: Forgiveness... most of the time...
House or apartment: We live in a townhouse.. I would like to have a house with a big back yard.
Like to cook: sometime..
Have You Ever
Got a speeding ticket: Yes
Wished you were someone else: Sometimes I think about it, but if I really had a choise I would probably stay right who I am.
Cried during a movie: Of course... moving, advertisement, song...
Describe yourself in one word: Determined
Biggest fear: never getting to experience motherhood to a child who stays with me
Biggest mistake: I'm sure I've made several
Your proudest accomplishment: my Maxton, of course..
Dream job: I would love to work/play with sick children... that seriously is my dream job.. always has been. ( i don't know any other 12 year old who would say they want to work with kids with cancer)
Special talents: I can turn my right foot backwards and still walk... yeah, I am weird.
Where would you rather be at the moment: in Kentucky with my family
Famous person you want to meet: I dunno...
Song to be played at your funeral: I'll let my family pick... though I love Amazing Grace...
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Father's Day
I wrote this poem for David for Father's Day. I had planned to put it in a photo video, but instead made a photo book with it! I gave it to him last night because he is working today and I didn't want him to be too sad.
Dear Dad
Don't be sad
I know you had your hopes for me
To sit in your lap while you watch TV
To play tennis like Rafa
Or wrestle like Chris Benoit
To learn to fight in the UFC
To grow up to be the best I could be
But God had other dreams in store
You needed me here but he needed me more
Don't worry Dad, I feel no pain
And because of me, look at what you've gained
A wife who sees a father's love
And an angel watching from above
It's okay for you to miss me Dad
But please, oh please, don't be sad
I'll be in heaven waiting for you
Until you finish what God sent you to do
And when that day comes I'll smile bright
And be in your arms, where I fit just right.
Until then, Dad, I'm always here
To listen when you need an ear
To watch over you and send you my love
From heaven, up here above.
I love you forever, Dad, that's a fact
From you sweet baby boy, Max.
Coincidentally, today is also 3 months since Maxton has been gone. I cannot believe it... 3 months. I miss my little man more than I can even describe, but I am doing pretty well coping with my feelings. I have been painting and sending paintings to other angel families. It has definately helped me to cope. If you are reading this and would like one or want to refer someone, please click on the picture at the top right. It will take to you that blog. This weekend is especially hard for me- not only is it father's day and Max's 3 month angel day, but Max was also conceived on June 22nd last year. :-( This day last year, I had no idea my life was about to change. We weren't trying to have a baby, but it was the one time I had thought.. "we might get pregnant" and we did. Now, I cannot stop thinking about getting pregnant again. To be honest, I am pretty much obsessed with it. I know that having another baby will not replace Max, but it will give me something to look forward to. I am so ready to be a mommy to a child who gets to live on earth with me. I am ready to watch David be the awesome dad that he is. I know it will happen when it is supposed to, but I can't help but want it to happen now. I know that Max is up there trying to find the perfect little soul to send back down here to us.
Happy Father's Day to all the daddy's out there!!!
Maxton, sweetie- we miss you so much. Not a day goes by where we don't think of you and wish that you could be here sharing your life with us. I know that you are in heaven and I cannot imagine the things you are seeing there. I know that one day we will be together and you can show me all the fun things you have done and we can do them together. Please continue to watch out for us. We love you little angel and miss you so much!!!
Dear Dad
Don't be sad
I know you had your hopes for me
To sit in your lap while you watch TV
To play tennis like Rafa
Or wrestle like Chris Benoit
To learn to fight in the UFC
To grow up to be the best I could be
But God had other dreams in store
You needed me here but he needed me more
Don't worry Dad, I feel no pain
And because of me, look at what you've gained
A wife who sees a father's love
And an angel watching from above
It's okay for you to miss me Dad
But please, oh please, don't be sad
I'll be in heaven waiting for you
Until you finish what God sent you to do
And when that day comes I'll smile bright
And be in your arms, where I fit just right.
Until then, Dad, I'm always here
To listen when you need an ear
To watch over you and send you my love
From heaven, up here above.
I love you forever, Dad, that's a fact
From you sweet baby boy, Max.
Coincidentally, today is also 3 months since Maxton has been gone. I cannot believe it... 3 months. I miss my little man more than I can even describe, but I am doing pretty well coping with my feelings. I have been painting and sending paintings to other angel families. It has definately helped me to cope. If you are reading this and would like one or want to refer someone, please click on the picture at the top right. It will take to you that blog. This weekend is especially hard for me- not only is it father's day and Max's 3 month angel day, but Max was also conceived on June 22nd last year. :-( This day last year, I had no idea my life was about to change. We weren't trying to have a baby, but it was the one time I had thought.. "we might get pregnant" and we did. Now, I cannot stop thinking about getting pregnant again. To be honest, I am pretty much obsessed with it. I know that having another baby will not replace Max, but it will give me something to look forward to. I am so ready to be a mommy to a child who gets to live on earth with me. I am ready to watch David be the awesome dad that he is. I know it will happen when it is supposed to, but I can't help but want it to happen now. I know that Max is up there trying to find the perfect little soul to send back down here to us.
Happy Father's Day to all the daddy's out there!!!
Maxton, sweetie- we miss you so much. Not a day goes by where we don't think of you and wish that you could be here sharing your life with us. I know that you are in heaven and I cannot imagine the things you are seeing there. I know that one day we will be together and you can show me all the fun things you have done and we can do them together. Please continue to watch out for us. We love you little angel and miss you so much!!!
Friday, June 19, 2009
Letters for CDH
Alright, so I said I was going to post this the other day... but didn't. :-) We are mailing letters to the Ellen show on July 15th! I am hoping I get close to 300 letters mailed from the Maxton team! :-) I have some blue envelopes if anyone in Nashville reading this needs some. I already have finished about 100 here, and my mom has some in KY. Please check out this blog for helpful hints. Since several of you have asked- this is what I am putting on my envelope
Every 6 minutes a baby with CDH is born. (sometimes I spelling out CDH,sometimes not)
HALF WILL DIE!!!
My son did.
For more information, please visit:
www.babymaxton310.blogspot.com
or
www.lettersforcdh.blogspot.com
I am writing all of this on the back of the envelope. If you are mailing some and find this too time consumeing, try to at least put a one liner on the envelope.
I am also writing a short, one page letter to include in my envelopes with maybe a few pictures of Maxton. I plan to finish it this weekend. If you are mailing envelopes and would like to include my letter, let me know, but mailing empty ones is fine too! We just want to flood the mail with blue envelopes!!! :-)
For those who want to help, but don't have/can't find blue envelopes or don't have time to write the out, you can help by donating some stamps if you can afford to.* I know I have asked alot of everyone lately, and if you can't help with this one, I understand! I love you guys and thank you so much for you support. I plan to do numerous things in the near future to help raise CDH awareness and funds, and I understand that peopel can't participate in every one of the events
Thanks guys!
Every 6 minutes a baby with CDH is born. (sometimes I spelling out CDH,sometimes not)
HALF WILL DIE!!!
My son did.
For more information, please visit:
www.babymaxton310.blogspot.com
or
www.lettersforcdh.blogspot.com
I am writing all of this on the back of the envelope. If you are mailing some and find this too time consumeing, try to at least put a one liner on the envelope.
I am also writing a short, one page letter to include in my envelopes with maybe a few pictures of Maxton. I plan to finish it this weekend. If you are mailing envelopes and would like to include my letter, let me know, but mailing empty ones is fine too! We just want to flood the mail with blue envelopes!!! :-)
For those who want to help, but don't have/can't find blue envelopes or don't have time to write the out, you can help by donating some stamps if you can afford to.* I know I have asked alot of everyone lately, and if you can't help with this one, I understand! I love you guys and thank you so much for you support. I plan to do numerous things in the near future to help raise CDH awareness and funds, and I understand that peopel can't participate in every one of the events
Thanks guys!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
PRAYERS!!
Kamryn and Brooke (twins) have arrived!!! Please pray for them. Kamryn has CDH and is relatively stable now in the NICU. Brooke doesnt have CDH but has some pneumonia so she is also in the NICU! Please pray for them. Their parents are wonderful people and they have a super big sister named Hollie who I am sure will need your prayers too!!!
Also- Please pray for Baby James. He is fighting over in the UK. He is doing well and is a CDH superstar!!!!! His parents are also wonderful. :-)
Please keep the other CDH babies- Avery, Carter A., Jaime, Gia, Ruby and any one else that is in the hospital- in your prayers.
I plan to post more tonight about letter for CDH and also about a picture I had done for Max. Check back later!!
Ash
Also- Please pray for Baby James. He is fighting over in the UK. He is doing well and is a CDH superstar!!!!! His parents are also wonderful. :-)
Please keep the other CDH babies- Avery, Carter A., Jaime, Gia, Ruby and any one else that is in the hospital- in your prayers.
I plan to post more tonight about letter for CDH and also about a picture I had done for Max. Check back later!!
Ash
Thursday, June 11, 2009
My 100th post
I borrowed this from another site. I had so hoped to be blogging about all the cute things Max was doing... or perhaps how we were bringing him home... It's still all so surreal.
What Makes A Mother
I thought of you all, I closed my eyes
and prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother
and I know I heard him say,
"A Mother has a baby.
This we know is true."
But God can you be a Mother
when your baby's not with you?
"Yes you can!" He replied
with confidence in His voice,
"I give many women babies,
when they leave is not their choice. "
"Some I send for a lifetime
and others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb
but there's no need to stay."
"I just don't understand this God,
I want my baby here.
"He took a deep breath and cleared His throat
and then I saw a tear.
"I wish I could show you
what your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile
with other children and say.."
"We go to earth to learn our lessons
of love and life and fear.
My mommy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here."
"I feel so lucky to have a Mom
who has so much love for me
I learned my lesson very quick
My Mommy set me free."
"I miss My Mommy oh so much
but I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep
on her pillow's where I lay."
"I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
and whisper in her ear,
Mommy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I'm here."
"So you see my dear sweet one,
your children are OK.
Your babies are here in my home
and this is where they'll stay."
"They'll wait for you with me
until your lesson is through.
And on the day that you come home
they'll be at the gates for you."
"So now you see what makes a Mother.
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of
right from the very start."
"Though some on earth may not realize
that you are a Mother until there time is done.
They'll be up here with me one day
and know you're the best one."
What Makes A Mother
I thought of you all, I closed my eyes
and prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother
and I know I heard him say,
"A Mother has a baby.
This we know is true."
But God can you be a Mother
when your baby's not with you?
"Yes you can!" He replied
with confidence in His voice,
"I give many women babies,
when they leave is not their choice. "
"Some I send for a lifetime
and others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb
but there's no need to stay."
"I just don't understand this God,
I want my baby here.
"He took a deep breath and cleared His throat
and then I saw a tear.
"I wish I could show you
what your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile
with other children and say.."
"We go to earth to learn our lessons
of love and life and fear.
My mommy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here."
"I feel so lucky to have a Mom
who has so much love for me
I learned my lesson very quick
My Mommy set me free."
"I miss My Mommy oh so much
but I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep
on her pillow's where I lay."
"I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
and whisper in her ear,
Mommy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I'm here."
"So you see my dear sweet one,
your children are OK.
Your babies are here in my home
and this is where they'll stay."
"They'll wait for you with me
until your lesson is through.
And on the day that you come home
they'll be at the gates for you."
"So now you see what makes a Mother.
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of
right from the very start."
"Though some on earth may not realize
that you are a Mother until there time is done.
They'll be up here with me one day
and know you're the best one."
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Hanging in there
This weekend was nice. I went to KY to a wedding. The ceremony was beautiful! I drove up by myself because David had to work. I went by the grave and talked to Maxton for a bit. This was my first chance to go by myself. There was cute teddy bear made from flowers that my grandma had brought for memorial day. It was very cute. I put his blue butterfly stake that I bought down also. I gotta say that it will be nice if we can get back to KY someday so I can be near him and go see the grave whenever I want.
I held my first little baby since Max this weekend. My friend RheaAnn has a 6 weeks old, Whitley, that I held for about an hour or so at the wedding. I thought I wouldn't be able to hold her when someone asked me to so they could get food, but I did just fine. In fact, it felt good. ( I was worried I might completely lose it!). I think it helped that little Whitley is a girl. But, I am proud of myself and thankful that God was able to help me get through that. Of course, right before that we were sitting behind a baby boy who was born on March 11th ( I hear his grandma talking about it). We ended up moving seats and I gotta say I was glad to.
I am still trying to adjust to my new normal. I miss Max everyday. Somedays I cry when I think about him and all the things I am missing, and somedays I smile because of all the things he gave me/taught me.
Please pray for little James' family as he is set to arrive tomorrow I believe. They are in England and his parents are awesome! I know James can fight CDH!
Please also pray for Stephanie as she goes to the hospital this week in preparation for birth of the twins, Kamryn (CDH) and Brooke. Stephanie is hoping they wait a few weeks before coming but will be at the hospital just in case.
Thanks for checkin in on us. We are doing our best with what we have been given.
I held my first little baby since Max this weekend. My friend RheaAnn has a 6 weeks old, Whitley, that I held for about an hour or so at the wedding. I thought I wouldn't be able to hold her when someone asked me to so they could get food, but I did just fine. In fact, it felt good. ( I was worried I might completely lose it!). I think it helped that little Whitley is a girl. But, I am proud of myself and thankful that God was able to help me get through that. Of course, right before that we were sitting behind a baby boy who was born on March 11th ( I hear his grandma talking about it). We ended up moving seats and I gotta say I was glad to.
I am still trying to adjust to my new normal. I miss Max everyday. Somedays I cry when I think about him and all the things I am missing, and somedays I smile because of all the things he gave me/taught me.
Please pray for little James' family as he is set to arrive tomorrow I believe. They are in England and his parents are awesome! I know James can fight CDH!
Please also pray for Stephanie as she goes to the hospital this week in preparation for birth of the twins, Kamryn (CDH) and Brooke. Stephanie is hoping they wait a few weeks before coming but will be at the hospital just in case.
Thanks for checkin in on us. We are doing our best with what we have been given.
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